Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
