I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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