so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
