I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
