Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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