Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize