Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
