a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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