He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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