How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
