Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
PANTIES FOUND
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