and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize