wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
