I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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