the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
