the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
