I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
