Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize