If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
