you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
