Is it because I queefed?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
