If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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