I'm lost and stupid without you.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
