I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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