apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
this will be a night to untag.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
