hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
