it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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