My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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