Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize