Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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