so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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