And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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