Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
