Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
