oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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