normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
