I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
