it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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