Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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