If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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