When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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