i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
