plz talk dirty to me
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
