This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I smell stomach acid.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
