I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
