actually, I'm a sock model
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think my vagina is haunted
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize