You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
