Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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