First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
