This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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