I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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