these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize