Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
