Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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