I want to stick my p in your. b.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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