need another drink. this is the easiest way
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
