your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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