Sry I called you an 8
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
