It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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