And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This toilet bowl is my home.
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