walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
