got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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