sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize