There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
false alarm, still single
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
