u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
