i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
