so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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