Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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