The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
